i think of times when we were alone
or when you held me by the fireside
i think of you and the tears cloud my eyes
i remembered your kiss before we parted
softer than anything imaginable
i think of you and i start to cry
i think of our long walks together
walking in silence under the stars
i think of these times and wonder why 
you brought to me
i remember your eyes, your hair and smile
so dazzling gorgeous i could never forget
i think of you and i die
inside 
i think of these times and i long to be
there again, safe inside your arms
how I'll survive the years ahead of me
no one knows
i think of you and i have to break down
and cry and cry and cry and cry
                                                               
/ written to me after our first meeting \
\   at LAKE LOUIS methodist camp 1989   /

I've finally discovered the
meaning of life
& I've heard somewhere before 
that if there is a person to do that,
they shouldn't live anymore.
So I am ready to go now,
but I have a fear of pain.
So I'll suffer here on this
developing earth
waiting for my day
No, I'm not suicidal,
I just wonder what's the point?
I've finally discovered the
meaning of life.
It's so we can die.

Life's a joke.
We try to find meaning,
when actually there is none
you live to live,
and then you die.
What's the point?
Why not get it over with?
The world's a joke
we're just a fluke
Humans weren't meant to be
Let's get it over & done